Resolutions

1. SKYDIVING

2. Read (get through at least all of the books I bought this past semester)

3. Love and laugh

4. Happiness

5. Write a letter (with actual pen and paper)

6. BlogBlogBlogBlog

7. Let the people I love know how much they mean to me

8. Stop being on my laptop when I have nothing else to do

9. Have the perfect day

10. Learn how to slow dance

waiting.wishing.hoping.

If there ever was such a thing as information overload for your brain, I think finals week just about does it.

Forever and Always

When you love someone so much how far are you willing to go to give them what they want? Agreeing to kill your loved one I'm guessing was not what you had in mind. But can it really be called suicide when your the one who pulls the trigger, your the one who agrees to end their suffering and pain just so that they can no longer hurt anymore. Murder? Suicide? Or both?

Romeo and Juliet were able to do it, without one the other couldn't live, star crossed lovers until the very end, one took poison as the other plunged a dagger into her living soul. But dying comes in all shapes and sizes, and wanting to die is even more complicated then the cold hard facts.

She hurt so much, the depression that slowly overtook her body was like an ever creeping shadow looming over her, haunting and teasing her until all she could see was the one escape she could truly have, a path really, her mind had been made up a long time ago, she just needed to see through the masquerade that had been her life. Step by step she walked down this path, telling the boy she loved what she planned to do. Willing him into helping her, but could he really do this? Would he? Should he? Love is a strange concept at times, they say if you love someone then set them free and if they really love you they would come back. But how do you bring the dead back? He saw the hurt that was in her eyes, the uncertainty and the fear, but it was not the fear of dying that was haunting her. And even though she never told him why, never explained why she wanted to commit this act of tragedy, never told him the burning secret she had inside of her for all these years, he agreed to help her, he held her on that last night, telling her how much he loved her and that he would always love her, he thought he could save her, talk her out of the terrible mistake she was about to make, tears and anguish and anger pouring through his body, trying to make her understand how much she meant to him. Then there was a shot, and everything went blank.

If you were chosen to be one of the twelve to be witnesses and judges to such a trial where would your verdict fall? Guilty of murder? But is it really that? Can it really be called murder? So where do you go from here? And suddenly it hits you, it's been right in front of you this whole time, staring at you, waiting for you to look up and acknowledge its presence, an absolution that cuts through the web of lies the world has thrown at you.

Truth. The truth is what you perceive it to be. But it is the truth nonetheless.

Sex, drugs, and vampires?!?

New Moon is set to premiere next week, in celebration of this joyous occasion everyone should read THIS

Click, read, enjoy =)

No one mourns the Wicked

Ok, so new musical obsession. Who loves Wicked and can't stop listening to the soundtrack? *raises hand*

It's such a beautiful story of Elphaba and Galinda, their time at Shiz, and their trials and tribulations in Oz. Although it does contain some tragic elements, how Elphaba is just a misunderstood girl, with a pure heart and good intentions. Just listening to the soundtrack on my itunes on repeat does not do this musical justice, and a trip to NYC is definitely in the works to see this wonderful and absolutely amazing show.

And of course listening to Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth sing is totally epic.

What's your story?

I was flipping through the channels on TV last night and I came across Obama's speech to Gay rights activists promising them he would end the "don't ask, don't tell policy" within the U.S. military. There was one particular part in his speech that stood out to me:

"That’s the story of America: of ordinary citizens organizing, agitating and advocating for change; of hope stronger than hate; of love more powerful than any insult or injury; of Americans fighting to build for themselves and their families a nation in which no one is a second-class citizen, in which no one is denied their basic rights, in which all of us are free to live and love as we see fit."

Throughout my many years in school, in history class and political science with Mrs. K it always stuck out to me how ironic it seemed that at the very beginning when those great men were sitting in Philadelphia on a hot summer day writing what is now the foundation of our government, advocating freedom and justice, wanting to break away from the English crown, fighting for their rights of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" (as stated in the Declaration of Independence) that what is happening internally with many issues in the U.S. today is very similar to what those men in 1776 were fighting for as well.

It's sad to think that more than half of the people living in America, who proudly call themselves Americans don't even know their own history. They forget or often times don't even understand that the ideals and principles the country they call home were founded on are the exact same things people who are gay, lesbian, pro-choice are fighting for today. They are fighting for their basic rights as well, to live their life, without laws and regulations telling them what they can and can not do.

Granted I may be a little bias because I'm absolutely in love with Obama and everything he stands for (he won the Nobel peace prize as well!), but its often said that history has a tendency of repeating itself, different situation but still the same fight. And maybe it will be this great man who will now let this story be told the right way.

Did you know you can just go to the library and take books out?

I made a promise to myself that I would update my blog frequently, and it seems that its the promises to myself that I most often break.

Here's to hopefully keeping a more watchful eye on well, myself.

Went walking down the street today and a little ray of sunshine shone down and gave me some insight. Ok, maybe I'm making it sound more dramatic then it is, but I realized something. If you surround yourself with happy people then you naturally will be happy as well. All joking aside, it is with this that becoming inspired comes as easily as taking a breathe and in the shadow of a smile you know that maybe all hope isn't lost.

The amount of times my cheeks have hurt from laughing so much are countless in the past few months. So here's to savoring those special moments and to many more.

Cheers.

<3

Love Love Love

Glee!

I can't stop listening to this song.

Seriously I get shivers every time I play it.

And she lives in her world.....of daydreams.....

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

-- Sonnet XVIII, William Shakespeare

Remember that time when...

How do you express what you feel without offending the reciprocating party? How do you tell someone what you really want to say without it sounding ungrateful?

Angry emails and pissed off moods aside sometimes the smallest difference matters the most, and sometimes right and wrong, what is clearly black and white in some minds is blurred into grey so that only the "fun" side remains. But reason and rational thought wins out in the end and through it all you realize how very blind you have become and what you must do to right the wrong.

A little common sense goes a long way...

Story of my life

There's something exhilarating about driving really fast, letting the window down allowing the wind to blow through your hair, blasting music and singing at the top of your lungs. Most recently Taylor Swift has been a regular favorite for these type of outings, maybe there's something in her voice or maybe its just the music she creates that is so addicting that no matter how many times you sing along it never gets old. Knowing the person next to you in the passenger seat is feeling the exact same thing at the exact same moment just makes things so much better. It is at this precise moment you know what it means to feel truly alive, nothing can bring you down from this high and you scream at the top of your lungs and let this new found energy and raw emotion overtake you.

On growing up and being home

It's my first summer home from being away at college, and while at first glance it may seem everything is still the same as I had left it that day in September, everything is not. My first year at college and already so much has changed in terms of my personal growth. A recent phone conversation with a dear friend bought to light the topic of letting what other people say or do get to you. We as human beings will always want to be liked and accepted, its just human nature and no matter how much we reason there will always be that little voice inside our heads questioning and asking the same question we have asked ourselves for centuries, "Are they talking about me? Do you think they like me?" We strive for acceptance, yearn for it, knowing that having it will just make everything alright.

But is this what we really want? Yes, knowing people accept you will make your life relatively easier, but should we let this fear dominate what we do in life? There comes a point where you realize, quite frankly, you just don't give a damn anymore. Going to college solidified my stance regarding this issue and you come to realize that petty little incidents and rumors should not get in the way of how you live your life.

Surround yourself with people you love and who you can laugh with until your eyes start watering and your cheeks and stomach hurt. And that my dear friends is the most important lesson I have learned thus far. <3

Summer '09 reading list

Full Frontal Feminism - Jessica Valenti
Georges Marvelous Medicine - Roald Dahl
The Twits - Roald Dahl
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Roald Dahl
Matilda - Roald Dahl
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
The BFG - Roald Dahl
The Witches - Roald Dahl
Death Comes in the End - Agatha Christie
China Candid - Sang Ye
Empress Orchid - Anchee Min
Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
Watchmen graphic novel
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows - J.K. Rowling
The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch
My Sister's Keeper - Jody Picoult
Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares

Hmm.....I need more books.

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even if its not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from The presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the sliver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are and how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.


Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder May 1994

When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna have boobies

There is no funny gal out there who can make me laugh as much as Ellen Degeneres. She recently gave the commencement speech at Tulane University, and was absolutely amazing. Humorous, witty, and just plain genuine, her speech had me laughing and awwing all at the same time.

Bringing some much needed comedy relief to our everyday lives while still staying true to herself, she has definitely become a great role model for many young people in our generation.

Some great summer reading

As of recently I've been reading a most inspiring book, I don't know why I didn't read more of it before. While I had the book in my possession in march, I never really got around to really dwell into its pages to find out what the author actually had to say. Now that school is out, I've returned to one of my favorite past times, curling up with a good book in bed.

The book in question is titled Full Frontal Feminism, written by a most amazing and opinionated author, Jessica Valenti takes the reader into the very heart and soul of the many issues surrounding feminism and what society has made it out to be. From dissecting what is actually happening concerning a women's reproduction rights to telling her fellow women out there that your entire life does not revolve around getting married and having babies, the book goes on to discuss some of the atypical stereotypes of what many people perceive "feminism" to be. I've always been a big fan of breaking stereotypes and proving the world wrong of what it "perceived" a person is and should be, so here's to breaking that mold and telling the world just how cool feminism really is.

Valenti's very first chapter is titled "Your a hardcore feminist. I swear" while I knew I agreed with many of the issues discussed within her book, I wouldn't have classified myself as hardcore. But as I went on to read and learn more about the many issues surrounding what feminism is truly about, I came to understand that yes I am a hardcore feminist, and I'm damn proud of it.

She also has a blog at www.feministing.com

Razzle Dazzle Them

I've always been a avid fan of musicals, the live action, music, and raw energy all make for a great combination of an awesome show of song and dance. But nothing beats being a part of the theatrical cast and crew, all part of one big family, one big very dramatic family.

My favorite and best memories of being a part of this family were the late night rehearsals, the frequent trips to D&D and McDs, and the absolute craziness that would have us laughing hysterically and screaming at the top of our lungs all in the single breath of a second.

So of course with my love of the theater, lately I've been listening nonstop to music from the acclaimed musical Chicago. A show set in 1920s America, it was the time of the Jazz Age: flappers, booze, and where everyone lived to the fullest and died young.



If you want to watch the movie here is the link to part one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BAZy7MbbMo

Scandalous and provocative, but who doesn't like a good story?

Live. Laugh. Love.

A writer is only as good as the inspiration that gives him/her the motive to want to write. But to be able to be inspired seems like a tougher and tougher task these days. Like so many of my other blogs and online journals, entries found within each one would dwindle down to the point where I would merely delete the entire thing. Not because I did not like writing anymore, but I would find no inspiration to actually put in the effort to post anything up. True, I could have used it as an outlet where I could vent and lay my heart out. But on a deeper level, writing is not just an outlet to voice what I'm feeling at that exact moment, but more of a chance to philosophize and ponder the questions and find the inspiration that can spark so many other thoughts and ideas within my mind. A constant day dreamer, I find that asking the questions and the "what ifs" brings a lot more satisfaction in the end then just finding the answers.

With that in mind this blog will not entirely be an analytical essay on the mysteries of life, it will also be a keepsake of a sort, a memory holder, something I hope I can look back on throughout the years to come and be re-inpsired by the many events and happenings that came to be a part of my life.

Staying inspired.
The summer has just begun.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke