Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Most Ardently

It was not in her nature to boast about her affections, as it was not in his to comply with the social norm of curiosity and wonder. He was, by all means, a sensible man. And as all sensible men do, he could all but explicitly state what it was that had tugged at his heartstrings from his first encounter with her. His pride, nay, his subconsciousness had instilled a mental block upon the rest of his body, so as she silently sat there observing the room, he could do nothing more than to stare most potently in her direction in such an omnipresent way as to draw the attention of neighboring guests around him. As for her, earlier exertions on the dance floor had quite depleted her energies as to not give notice to her immediate surroundings. A faint whisper and slight cough caught her attention as her surrounding background understood exactly what was happening in their little corner on this lovely evening. With a frustrated sigh, she pushed herself up from her resting place and made for the garden. Her pride would not be wounded by their indecency towards her emotions, if at all, she would only prove their mistake.

Writing like Jane Austen?
still got it ;)

Monday, March 15, 2010

What's the word that's burning in your heart?

Suffice it to say today sucked. Big time. And I don't care if I make a scene and everyone within a mile radius can hear what I am saying, restraining my passion and rage only makes it ten times worse so better to let it all out then to let it simmer and boil over at the wrong time.

My efforts to please everyone around me sometimes leads to decisions I resent making, and sometimes it leads me into situations I don't want to be in. Faced with the situation I would rather run as far away as my body will allow then to have to sit and live it all out. But responsibility wins out in the end, and I am back where I started, sitting there waiting for a break, for a small chance that maybe something can be mentioned in order to make everything alright again.

I'm not mad at you because I don't appreciate the efforts you have put in, I'm mad at you because the way the conflict was bought up was immature and undignified. It was an attack that no one saw coming, like a conspiracy theory planned out beforehand you came into it waving your sword and daring anyone who had the courage to defy you to step forward. I am not saying what you want is wrong or undeserving, but in that moment I lost some respect for you. And as much as it pains me to say this and as much as I don't want to admit it, in that moment what I thought of you diminished in my eyes, and that is something I never want to happen to people in my life. So am I wrong to always think the best of people? Innocent until proven guilty right?

I hope you can prove me wrong soon. I really hope so.

Monday, March 8, 2010

whatdafux. blogger why are you failing me in my time of need.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I hope you already know

I want you to know how much I admire you. Your courage and your strength amazes me everyday, no matter how many curve balls and unmarked paths life has thrown in your away, your still able to find life worthwhile. Your still able to smile and laugh, and face life with a renewed passion for everything it has to offer.

I want you to know I never meant those things I said. A tragic flaw and also a hint of immaturity, my impulsiveness lead me to regret words that should have never found life.

I want you to know that you have taught me so much. About myself, and also about life. You have so much faith in me, of the woman you know I can become. And even though I am scared to death, I know you will always have my back and catch me when I fall.

I want you to know that sometimes I want to stop the clock from ticking, and just sit a while with you. I miss our time spent together,  and as I sit here writing this I am berating myself for wasting away the time we did have together.

But most of all, I want you to know of how much I love you. Even though I may not show it everyday, please know in your heart I love you with my entire being. My love is filled with raw emotion and passion and it knows no bounds. I may have to keep it in check at times, but my entire life revolves around this love, and I hope someday I can show you all the wondrous joys it can bring.


Monday, March 1, 2010

Remember me?

Sometimes I feel like I will never end up with my happy ending because I am always helping others find theirs.

But if helping to make others happy in turn makes me happy shouldn't it be the same thing?

No, its not.