Suffice it to say today sucked. Big time. And I don't care if I make a scene and everyone within a mile radius can hear what I am saying, restraining my passion and rage only makes it ten times worse so better to let it all out then to let it simmer and boil over at the wrong time.
My efforts to please everyone around me sometimes leads to decisions I resent making, and sometimes it leads me into situations I don't want to be in. Faced with the situation I would rather run as far away as my body will allow then to have to sit and live it all out. But responsibility wins out in the end, and I am back where I started, sitting there waiting for a break, for a small chance that maybe something can be mentioned in order to make everything alright again.
I'm not mad at you because I don't appreciate the efforts you have put in, I'm mad at you because the way the conflict was bought up was immature and undignified. It was an attack that no one saw coming, like a conspiracy theory planned out beforehand you came into it waving your sword and daring anyone who had the courage to defy you to step forward. I am not saying what you want is wrong or undeserving, but in that moment I lost some respect for you. And as much as it pains me to say this and as much as I don't want to admit it, in that moment what I thought of you diminished in my eyes, and that is something I never want to happen to people in my life. So am I wrong to always think the best of people? Innocent until proven guilty right?
I hope you can prove me wrong soon. I really hope so.